The Do's And Don't's Of Professional Cab Driving---Part 1

Months ago I promised Puget Sound Dispatch I would put together a pamphlet to hand out to all recalcitrant cabbies.  Whether I will ever truly find the spare time is questionable but since I am sitting here at the Burien, Washington Les Schwab tire shop, and waiting to have 2 new front tires installed, I thought this would be a "good-space-in-taxi-time" to jot down some obvious thoughts concerning the fine art of cabbing, applicable I think to any city or country or even Mars.  Did you know that "there is a place in Mars where the women smoke cigars, and all the men drive in little-kiddie-cars?" I learnt that ditty in Toledo, Ohio sometime in 1957, and since those Martians are driving vehicles somewhere way up there in the sky, I am sure they also have some planetary version of taxi.

Taxi is taxi where ever you may go, and getting it right is essential but even I don't always follow known and stationary rules.  This morning, after waiting 40 minutes to reach the the front of the Pier 91 cruise ship line, I had the misfortune to have a Mister Rude ask me, "how much to the ferry terminal?" and I made every effort not to answer him.   Thankfully, as I hoped, he angrily stalked to the next cab parked behind me.

While breaking usual protocol, tired and weary to the taxi bone, I just wasn't interested in "suspicion and superiority" smacked in my face.   I say this to state that nuance is everything, meaning, while my suggestions are based upon 30 plus years upon the cabbie road, I am not God, this isn't a bible, and bend, whenever deemed necessary, all prescribed remedies.  In no particular order:

What a Cabbie is

What we shouldn't be is some free form, unbridled wild man (or woman) running amok upon your particular city's streets.  That is the more-or-less Las Vegas model, something I find abhorrent.  In theory and practice, the cab driver should act like any other business operator, adhering to usual norms of behavior, and not like some kind of self-styled criminal.  The most valid complaint concerning the majority of cabbies is that they do whatever they want regardless of rules and regulations. Viewing yourself as a kind of airline pilot is a better model.  Be professional and safely get your taxi up in the air and down, your passengers your first and only priority.

Don't Involve Yourself with Nonsense

Taxi driving is unique due to its self-regulating nature.  For the most part, you and you alone are making the decisions.  In terms of routing, in terms of what happens in the cab's interior, you are the boss, the sole arbitrator.  Accountability then is key, your behavior ultimately dictating a given rides' success, direct and efficient routing from point A to B always your first goal.  Take payment and be gone, away to the next fare and more money in your pocket.

It's when the cabbie doesn't to this is when the trouble, the error begins.  Every cabbie does and will receive questionable invitations to embrace all and any varieties of nonsense, mostly of the sexual and drug-related nature.  I have too many personal examples of this kind of beckoning, be the individual drunk, crazy or plainly misguided.  Why would I want to embrace desperation?  I don't and my advice is to steer clear because complication, and perhaps severe consequences, wait right around the corner.

And allowing drug use of any kind, liquor included, in the cab is insanity and a great way to get yourself into serious trouble. My advice will always be to work hard, make the good money, and once the cab is parked, leave the nonsense behind.  Believe me, the next day, nonsense once again will be waiting to bite.  What is the best preventative vaccination?  Commonsense administered daily.  And of course, an organic apple a day keeping the too inquisitive police officer away!

To be continued.