How It All Returns to Itself

Rereading my last entry it is obvious internally I am the same, meaning my attitude toward taxi remains what appears permanent, I don't like it and I want out.  Of course there were many details from from the weekend which might be considered both interesting and entertaining but twice having three "no-shows" in a row diminishes enthusiasm. At least during my second hour Saturday morning the no-shows were followed by an eighty dollar hour, this weekend the true epitome of the taxi roller coaster.  Further souring my attitude is my now $240.00 weekend single shift lease, up from the previous $200.00.  Given the linkage to Labor & Industry coverage and the transfer of state sales taxi liability to the driver it was expected but still the twenty percent increase was a shock.  The financial changes are tied to the clear economic reality that costs keep increasing in the United States minus real wage improvement across the cultural board.  The  expanding inflationary universe gobbles up gains leaving the unprotected with empty pockets and punctured dreams.  Once taxi was a secret safe haven allowing the lucky individual to rake in a relative treasure completely unobserved.  Those days are long gone as prying eyes peer into our world, extending eager fingers into our wallets.  The operational costs are eating everyone equally, both owners and lease drivers prominently listed upon the menu of the day, dead trout upon a chilled platter awaiting the sizzling grill.  Personally the monetary incentives remain but as I have stated I am both disinterested and bored, bored, bored. Working ever harder for the same dollars seems stupid.  How can I look into the mirror and pretend I have accomplished something?  Self-delusion is a fatal illusion leading to a final imprisonment solitary and suffocating.  Even if that cell is a Ford Crown Victoria, it is becoming impossible to justify the time and commitment to an imaginary mobility, sitting locked in stasis while traveling at 65 miles per hour through incessant rain.  My brother Steve says it is all a plot he calls "Universal Anarchy", a malevolent power ruling and influencing all of our lives.  He just might be correct.  Rarely does he mention benevolent gods bestowing blessings upon the earthly populace.  I can certainly understand why!  Punitive reality is never mentioned during the typical primary school hour.  ABC, what do I read and see?  And just what will I grow up to, and can I, be?