Allow we a little "taxi" comedy when I tell you that on Thursday and Friday, April 23-24, 2015, there will be something held in Amsterdam, Holland called the "Taxi Intelligence Conference" led it appears by none other than James Cooper, partner of Professor Ray Mundy who jointly caused all kinds of trouble for Seattle cabbies by telling those stalwart intellectuals known as the Seattle City Council that demand for taxi-type services were on the upswing. That the dynamic duo received $100,00 for their erroneous study says everything about the City of Seattle's approach to the local taxi industry. Believe anyone and everyone other than the industry itself who yelled that what Cooper and Mundy were saying just wasn't true. Now some may say, "Hey Joe, calm down! That was over a year ago." but as I have been repeating these past weeks all of us here working beneath the top-light suffer through the Cooper/Mundy generated reality. I have tomorrow not to look forward to. And as I have been describing, it ain't a pretty picture.
Now toward the end of this month we again have James Cooper, a perfectly nice and pleasant human being, masquerading as a taxi industry expert. He, along with something called the "Taxi Research Network" will examine the industry's immediate future as if they knew anything of its past. Yesterday I half-jokingly emailed James Cooper, saying that if I was made a keynote speaker I would join him in Amsterdam, a city I have spent some combined weeks in. I like it there and I am sure it is clear to anyone familiar with this blog that I would certainly add something to the late April proceedings.
One topic amongst many I might expound upon would be, "Just How Did We Get To This Miserable Taxi Juncture?"
In order I would talk about,
1) Innate Taxi Inferiority
2) The Industry's Latent Criminal Mentality
3) The Regulatory Riddle: The Confusing Contradiction of Lax & Heavy-handed Governmental Administration
4) Association Mismanagement
I am sure everyone would find it all very entertaining. Unfortunately I have yet to hear from Mister Cooper, though I am not surprised. Why present reality when you instead can theoretically drone on forever.
Or perhaps, since I am known as slightly feral, the fear is that I might be impolite but I assure you there should be no worry. Pay my airfare and lodging and modest speaking fee and I will become quite domesticated. A muzzle wouldn't be required. Not even a short leash. Instead of barking I would politely wag my taxi tail. What more could they ask for?