Scared Myself

There is a song dating from about 1971 or so by Dan Hicks & His Hot Licks, "I Scared Myself" and indeed I did while searching for a particularly elusive email pertaining to the release of the "for-hire" vehicle licenses.  My search took me all the way back to August 2007 which is where the trail ended.  What frightened me were the literally hundreds of emails that I have either received or sent concerning all these issues regarding the Seattle & King County taxi industry.  I believe I am underestimating as  the real figure is probably over one thousand and perhaps far more than that.  What I was viewing was my life devoted (or wasted) upon something that remains static, immovable.  It certainly spooks me when four years ago I was stating that trust was at a premium, tiring of all of the suspicion and paranoia. It scares me that I have inserted myself into a quagmire and there is my head disappearing beneath the quicksand.  It is apparent that many in this business do not see how dysfunctional they are.  That is all scary too.  Instead of Thanksgiving it is perpetual Halloween.  All this firms my resolve to quit in the ten months or so I have left upon the taxi commission.  Being a martyr is reserved for the saintly.  Since so many regard me as a taxi Satan I should descend to my dark dominion  and roast marshmallows over the burning coals of Hades.  It is definitely chilly up here on the surface, battling ever persistent innuendo and rumor.  I should even send myself an email reminding that madness is truly optional. There are alternatives, like eating burritos in San Francisco's Mission District.  Or wandering around the Berkeley Botanical Gardens with "she-who-can't be-named."  Yes, speaking of Hell, the Hell with it, and be done, be done with it!